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Do you know that a toxic mindset can sabotage your chances of success?
During my first semester of university, I became obsessed with overworking myself. I became increasingly guilty if I didn’t complete a reading or one of my tasks.
Although I was physically healthy, my mind became a toxic place.
It wasn’t until I reconnected with myself when I realised these toxic habits, and these habits held me back from making progress with both my blogging and personal life.
Here’s an important lesson from manifestation: toxic mindset = attracting like-minded energy.
So, in this post I will share with you 5 toxic mindsets that self-sabotage success, and how you can learn to eliminate these toxic mindsets.
What is a toxic mindset?
A toxic mindset is a thought pattern which prevents you from making progress in your life, whether it’s your career, relationships and so on. For example, saying to yourself ‘I am a failure’ or believing you’re ‘not capable of a job role’ are examples of toxic mindsets.
Below you will see five more examples of a toxic mindset, and how they can limit you from growing as a person.
5 Toxic Mindsets that Self-Sabotage Success
1. Thinking of the big goals rather than the small goals
Robert Collier: ‘Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.’
This is a mindset which I had learnt from La Ivana’s blog post on toxic mindsets.
It’s easy to focus all of your attention on your big goal, such as creating a successful business, or working in your dream job. However, being focused on your big goal will lead to you missing the opportunity of enjoying your journey.
As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, ‘every small habit builds up to something bigger,’ and your small goals are the small habits that can cause the outcome.
Before I created Kyrazella, I had two previous blogs and one of the primary reasons they failed was because I placed too much attention on the big goal (outcome) rather than the smaller goals (habits).
It’s important to write actionable steps to help you focus on your journey.
For instance, if your big goal is to achieve a 1st at university, then your small actionable goals are to create a revision schedule, asking for help, and so on.
Action step: Review your big goals and write your actionable steps beneath each goal. If you struggle to write goals, I have created a worksheet, which is a part of my workbook. You can download the FREE worksheet here.
2. Thinking your not worthy of success
Did you know that 80% of your thoughts aren’t even true?
Your mind is a powerful tool, having a massive impact on your journey towards living the life you love. This is because your mindset will stop you from both taking action.
After reading ‘Make it Happen’ by Jordanna Levin, it made me realise how much I was self-sabotaging myself. A key fact about manifestation is your mindset can contribute to the manifestation of a physical event.
And for many years, this became a reality for me.
For example, whilst working in retail, both my anxiety and negative mindset were due to working with customers (ironic right).
This resulted in me attracting negative energies into my life, leading to the manifestation of negative physical events, such as an angry customer and making mistakes during transactions.
It wasn’t until I left retail when I prioritised my mindset. This included having more time with myself, surrounding myself with positive people, and making more time for reading.
The most important step is to identify why you don’t feel worthy of success, and how to challenge your negative mindset. After, you will move further in your journey and become a better version of yourself.
Action step: Convert your limiting beliefs into positive beliefs, such as ‘I am worthless’ to ‘I am worthy of success.’ Then, repeat your positive beliefs daily, resulting to you believing in your fullest potential. I have included this worksheet in my Mini Dream Life Workbook. You can download your FREE copy here.
RELATED: How design your dream life
3. Thinking that you need to please everyone
According to Nancy Levin, a People Pleaser is someone who ‘abandons themselves to make sure everyone is okay, rather than checking if they’re okay themselves.’
Here examples of People Pleasers in action:
- Not sharing your opinion on a subject.
- Accepting someone’s wrongdoings.
- Laughing at inappropriate jokes, even if you believe it’s wrong.
There are many harmful effects of being a People Pleaser, including not having boundaries, not having a true identity, and having people ‘walk over you.’
Although it’s scary to share your honest opinions and thoughts, expressing them will allow people to both treat you with respect and know who you are as a person.
For most of my life, I was a People Pleaser. I didn’t believe in causing tension or showing my true self – ambitious, ‘nerdy,’ and passionate. And this resulted in me creating a false identity and hiding my true personality with those I encounter.
It made me feel like an imposter.
Instead of protecting myself, I was more focused on protecting those around me, whether it was a family member or a friend, but this only resulted in me feeling worst.
It wasn’t until a year ago when I asked myself these questions:
- What are my values?
- What do I love?
- What’s my purpose in life?
- What are my beliefs?
This helped me to start my journey of getting to know my true self.
Action step: As I had mentioned above, a simple way to become less of a People’s Pleaser is to find your true self. You can easily do this by reading Archetype, Dharma and many more. I have written a detailed step-by-step guide on how to find your true self here.
RELATED: How to find your true self
4. Thinking that settling for less is safer
Unknown: ‘What you want exists. Don’t settle until you get it.’
I’ve seen too many people settling for jobs which doesn’t serve them. There are many reasons, including both the fear of failure and having no guidance.
If J. K. Rowling stopped pursing publishing agencies, then both me and you would have gotten one of the most popular franchise, Harry Potter.
This is only one example of someone who took a risk, but there are many more, including Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates.
A life filled with no risks will only lead to ‘what ifs,’ which is far worse than experiencing failure or embarrassment.
It’s important to develop a Growth Mindset, which is showing hard work and dedication towards improving your skills and knowledge. For example, someone with a Fixed Mindset would quit after experiencing failure, but someone with a Growth Mindset would use their experience as a learning opportunity.
Action step: If you want to take a risk, I would suggest downloading my FREE Mini Dream Life Workbook. This workbook includes worksheets needed to guide you towards taking risks in life (in this case pursuing the life you love). You can download the FREE workbook here.
RELATED: How to find your purpose in life
5. Thinking that other people’s opinions matter more than your own
I was inspired by Tom Bilyeu’s YouTube video, where he shares an inspirational speech on ‘how other people’s opinions negatively impact you.’
He said: ‘you shape what you believe you are, resulting to you acting in accordance with that belief; making it become a reality.’
Living your dream life requires taking risks, whether if it means listening to other people’s negative comments.
In life, there will always be negative people, but it doesn’t mean the negative comments are true. Instead, its important to stick to your own positive beliefs and become confident in your potential.
During secondary school, I had one teacher who made me feel I wasn’t the best writer. This resulted in me falling out of love with both reading and writing. However, it wasn’t until after Sixth Form when I began to believe in myself and pursue a career in writing.
Action step: A special tool which I have been using for many years is a Reverse Bucket List. A Reverse Bucket List involves writing all of your accomplishments, such as passing your driving test or completing a marathon. This will allow you to see your true potential and to believe in yourself as a person.
RELATED: How to create a Reverse Bucket List
I hope this post has allowed you to both identify and see the importance of eliminating your toxic mindset. I would highly recommend reading ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle. His wisdom allowed me to learn the importance of remaining in the present moment, allowing me to become the person I am today. You can check out his eye-opening book here.
Hi I’m Kyra, a student and creator of Kyrazella. I created Kyrazella because I wanted to share valuable knowledge to help YOU create and live the LIFE YOU LOVE. I provide inspiring and useful knowledge on both mindset and manifestation, which I had learnt over the years. You can learn more about my story here.