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Are you feeling overwhelmed by your past trauma/s? It’s gotten so bad that it’s slowly affecting your physical, mental and emotional health. Don’t worry, because today I will be sharing with you 5 ways to heal yourself from trauma.
In this post, I will be combining both what I have learned and my personal experience on this journey. So, let’s get to the post, shall we!
Quick disclaimer: I am not a doctor or therapist. The tips you’re about to read are based on my personal experience and are only for educational purposes only. I would highly advise speaking to your doctor or therapist if these thoughts are persistent and are impacting your everyday life.
5 ways to heal yourself from trauma and past wounds
1. ‘You need to experience darkness in order to appreciate the light’
This is Lavendiare’s interpretation of the quote by Rumi.
In order to begin your healing journey, you must understand that pain is inevitable in your journey through life, but it’s your reaction to the pain which counts.
This is because from the moment you’re born, you wouldn’t have experienced pain. Thus, the moment that you experience pain, this pain lasts for years, regardless of the degree of the trauma.
This strikingly links with the Law of Polarity, which states that ‘everything has two poles: good and evil, love and hate, attraction and disconnection’ (Tony Robbins). This duality of the world allows you to ‘appreciate the good in the world,’ regardless of whether it’s a negative experience. This law allows us to understand what the experience has taught us; which I will talk further about in step 2.
Your acceptance of this discovery will allow you to understand the next steps within this healing process.
An activity that I would recommend before moving onto the next steps is journaling. This is due to the fact that journaling is a good way of expressing your feelings and emotions surrounding the trauma, as well as gaining every detail about the event.
2. All your past trauma is validated
Why are you upset? I’ve experienced far worse than you ever have. This may be something that you’ve heard when people express their feelings and emotions about a particular trauma.
This common habit results in individuals making a comparison between themselves and other people’s past traumas. However, the truth is everyone has different pain scales. What one individual finds high on the pain scale, another individual may see it as low on the pain scale.
This reminds me of an episode in a reality TV show. In the episode, a girl expressed her experience with being ridiculed for her small breast size as a teenager. Despite this seeming like a small trivial trauma to one individual, for this woman, this experience had played a massive role in her experimentation of plastic surgery.
This is an example of understanding that everyone’s trauma is validated, regardless of the degree of the trauma.
RELATED: 5 Toxic Mindsets that Self-Sabotage
3. Understand what you’ve learned from the trauma
With everything in life, you must understand what you have learned from an experience, whether it’s your first year at secondary school or your first job. In order to become a better version of yourself, it’s crucial to understand what you’ve learnt.
As I had mentioned before, the Law of Polarity states that everything has a dual perspective, including your past trauma. In every bad experience, there is something to be learned.
For instance, my bullying trauma has helped me to understand that it’s okay to express my emotions and that doesn’t make me a weird or abnormal individual, it makes me human.
This is only one aspect of what I had learned from that trauma, but it gives you an idea that there is something good to be taken from a bad event.
4. Understand why the trauma happened
This is an important step which many people tend to ignore, and it has allowed me to understand my pain inducer.
Ask yourself: what has happened to this person? Rather than what is wrong with this person?
Was this trauma the result of a habit they had adopted, or due to a past experience?
This emphasis on ‘what happened’ humanises the individual, nevertheless of whether their good or bad. Also, it will allow you to think about the individual through the perspective of an outside individual, who has no knowledge of the pain they inflicted onto you.
This step gave me insight into the potential generational trauma which my pain inducer may have experienced. As a result, this helped me to acknowledge that their action in that event was the result of the generational trauma they had endured.
It’s crucial to clarify that I’m not expecting you to express empathy for the individual, but rather understand how their actions may have been a reaction to their own past trauma.
5. Forgiveness is a form of self-care
In the book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle expresses that ‘anger, sadness and distress are negative emotions which can manifest into physical reactions.’ This shows the importance of turning forgiveness into a form of self-care, since forgiveness allows you to become free of the worries that are impacting yourself mentally, emotionally and physically.
It was only a couple of months ago when I began to experience mental pain from my trauma. This resulted in the physical reaction of developing a stomach ulcer and experiencing sudden weight loss.
That experience taught me that I cannot forcefully change an individual, but I can change how I react to the situation. This realisation has allowed me to validate the pain that I experienced and turn the pain into a way of understanding who I am as an individual; create new boundaries.
Forgiveness doesn’t have to involve talking to the pain inducer face-to-face. There are many activities, including writing a letter, talking to a friend or family member, or gifting yourself an adventure.
I hope this post has helped you to take your first steps towards healing yourself. Despite this being a hard journey, once you have taken your first steps, it becomes more durable bit by bit. Do you have any other healing suggestions? Comment down below.